i was born a porn star she said
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
