In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
