I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
