You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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