don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he was CRYING into my vagina
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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