And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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