Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
