No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
This house was built for laser tag.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He better not be in your backpack
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
