She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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