used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
