youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
