i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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