just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
