Got a toothbrush?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
