i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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