in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Randomize
