I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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