I didn't shave. On purpose
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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