i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
