...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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