oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
