One girl and one boy is just not enough.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
