if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
