i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
