people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
