I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
