don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Drake has all the answers
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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