what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
