it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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