The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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