I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
