Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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