areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
