Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
