my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
