Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
