you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
