Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dignity is for republicans.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
