He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
