I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I need moral support for this bender
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
