My brain says no but my pants say off.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
