It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
