when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
