let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
