Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
