Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
