Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
