Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
