I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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