Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
