I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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