dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
