In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
