Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
are you so shy because you have an std?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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