I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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