Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
