there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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